Alright, so Wendy's is supposedly closing hundreds of locations. Hundreds! You hear that, America? Hundreds of places where you can get a lukewarm burger and suspiciously square patties are biting the dust. I say, about damn time.
Interim CEO Ken Cook—whoever THAT is—says these restaurants "don't elevate the brand." Oh, I'm sorry, are we talking about Michelin stars here? Last time I checked, we were talking about a fast-food chain peddling greasy goodness to the masses. Elevate the brand? Give me a break. Is he serious?
He wants to "fix those restaurants." Fix 'em how? By deep-sixing them? Sounds like a plan. Seriously, if your business model relies on hoping a "fresh set of eyes" can magically turn around a failing franchise, maybe your business model is the problem. Just a thought.
And get this: they're blaming it on poor franchisee financial performance. Well, no freakin' duh. Maybe if they weren't charging an arm and a leg for a Dave's Double, people might actually be able to afford to eat there regularly. Or maybe, just maybe, the competition is, you know, better.
Apparently, their "Tendy's" (who comes up with these names?) are doing gangbusters. So, the solution to failing restaurants is...more chicken tenders? Okay. That's like saying the solution to a sinking ship is a bigger bucket. I mean, maybe it'll help for a little bit, but it's not exactly a long-term strategy, is it?
They closed 140 locations last year, and now they're planning on shuttering another 300-ish. That's almost half a THOUSAND Wendy's gone in two years. You know, I wonder what the employees at those locations will do? I'm sure they'll be thrilled to hear their jobs are being sacrificed at the altar of the almighty chicken tender.
And they aren't saying where these closures are happening. Talk about a suspenseful cliffhanger. Are any Iowa stores on the list? What about New Jersey? Who knows! It's like a fast-food lottery, except instead of winning, you just lose your local Wendy's.
Offcourse, I haven't even tried one of their tenders.
Wendy's is investing in "better equipment and technological resources." Translation: they're probably going to replace the cashiers with robots and make the whole experience even more soulless than it already is. Progress!
Look, I get it. Businesses need to adapt to survive. But let's be real: Wendy's isn't exactly innovating here. They're just shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. And honestly... I'm not sure why I even care.
